29 April, 2012

Enough is enough

No time left, just threw stuff together so that I could photograph the overall idea of how it will look like.

No, this is obviously not a success story.
Spent something a little over my average monthly wage to buy a bed, mattress and a chair and the result is what you see. Additionally my landlord-lady sent me her old chair over.
And this is the result after spending more money than planned, waiting for a month till my bed gets made and moving furniture in a hurry so that I`m not late for work - complete fiasco.
The chair is so broken it can't be used at all. The bed is not quite what I wanted except that it's 140x200 and dark coloured. I have too much furniture in my room. And it turns out my dad witheld something from me - the price I actually paid for the bed was only for the work alone. Seems he bought materials for it, but the point is that it was overpriced as it was, now it turns out it was double so overpriced and my dad spent his last money on that luxury.
I feel like crap, my environment looks like crap and there is absolutely nothing I can do except to spend even more money to buy additional furniture to fix stuff.

Oh, yeah, that CRT is going away as soon as I have money for it. Which won't be soon as I keep giving my money away.

Fuck me if I`m going to every rely on my parents or anyone else for that matter again...

28 April, 2012

Yes, my hair is greasy as hell there
Just did a quick inspection of my shirts [?]. Yeah, it's all still black, I`m still too poor to buy new clothes for every season. And, damn, the only real, proper button shirt (or whatever people call them, I`m not really into fashion) is two sizes too big now. I remember the days when it was almost too small for me. Anyway, since it seems that these days it's in to wear clothes that are a size too small, I`m not going to wear it and will weep quietly.
The good news is that I have more clothes to wear in summer than I initially thought. So maybe I will not starve to death just so that I could go to work in a more or less presentable look.

In unrelated news - maybe tomorrow I will finally get my fucking bed delivered. Seriously, I was about to buy one at the beginning of the month, but then my dad had the genius idea to order one made without my consent or without any idea what kind of bed I`m looking for. So the plans got postponed for another two weeks and I had no idea what the bed is going to look like. Logically, two weeks passed, my dad still has no transport to deliver it to from Jekabpils and actually the bed still isn't made.
So well, yeah, another lesson in asking for someone else's advice. I have no idea why I keep actually doing that, I can't remember even one time when it actually helped. Guess it just gets too lonely to rely on yourself all the time...

24 April, 2012

Just thinking out loud here again

If someone were to ask me a question "What do you think of kids being raised by homosexual couples?" my answer would be "They are a necessary sacrifices."
Obviously I can't think that a kid raised by a homosexual couple wouldn't get damaged or twisted or would always feel like he fits in a normal society. Obviously I can't think that because our society doesn't fully understand and tolerate such families. I do, I tolerate it myself, I don't really even care and I think that nobody should really even care. However, people do care and that's why these kids can't have a normal childhood. And a certain number of these kids will have to be sacrificed before our society will finally be able to accept it, to tolerate it, to live with it. Before it will become normal like it should be.

Well, that's one.

Welcome to the N.H.K., the show where the 10% and 90%
 reference came from
Now, if we think about it in a much broader sense - we are all sacrifices. Every each human being that has lived so far, has been a sacrifice, sacrifice meant for building a better world. We live in a 10% happiness and 90% suffering world constantly hoping for a better life and every day working to achieve it. Of course we will not achieve the perfect goal, but with each generation we come a small step closer to it for the whole of humanity.
Maybe we do not realise or fully understand it, but it is what it is and we are all sacrifices.

So consider this blog entry a huge Fuck You to everyone letting those sacrifices be in vain.

15 April, 2012


Picture found on wallbase.cc and I couldn't care less
about the original source for the moment
For some reason most of the non-drinkers seem to be very opinionated about alcohol. Well, I`m one of them.

06 April, 2012

And so I have returned

I have returned to elaborate a bit on my previous blog entry.
Beautiful people start turning ugly and ugly people get even uglier.
 To most people it's clear as sky, why beautiful people turn ugly as you get to know them, however at the same time most people like to hold to the opinion that ugly people are mostly beautiful on the inside as they don't get tainted by the shallowness in this world. Well...that's wrong.
The dumb thing is that our society by itself is quite ugly. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, it's debatable) people that look good tend to have it all in their lives easier, while ugly people get the short end of the stick. While beauties can concentrate on whatever they do, deal only with the consequences of their own choices and overall live a normal life full with affection, love and attention, the ugly people, additionally to all that, have to deal with the society and its shortcomings and its shallowness. It really might not sound as much, but when you deal with it every day of your life, it does grow a certain bitterness and hatred on you and the question is - how you deal with it. Unfortunately most people deal with ir poorly, thus most ugly people are actually shallow and primitive as well which sadly makes a lesser human beings out of them. I mean, if they don't dealt with constant rejection correctly, offering a self sacrifice, they usually end up bitter and full with inner, biased hatred which culminates in kind of repulsive characteristic traits of theirs. In primitive words - bitches and douches.
I am not saying that beautiful people are never like that, but to tell the truth, it takes a special kind of effort for them to become like that. Have to say, that narcissism is an enemy you don't want to face (though ugly people also get it from time to time). The difference lies in that for ugly people it's a trial they have to overcome, while for beautiful people it's their own stupid choice they make.

Unfortunately I think I will have to leave it at at that for now, because I can't find a way to express exactly what I mean in proper words.


02 April, 2012

Picture related: the fake world we look at.
In the society there is a popular opinion that when people get older - they tend not to count the looks of other people so much. In other words, that with age the standards lower. Well, it doesn't seem to be the case for me.
I'm not a really..urm...pretentious/ostentatious person [can't really find a proper translation for ārišķīgs in English, there is probably no such word, so let me explain: not someone who pays a great deal of attention to looks] yet with each day I pay more attention to everybody's outer shell. It doesn't mean that I consider prettier people being better and like them more, nope. It's more like there is some huge part of my naivete being killed, thus I have come to know people better, I predict their thoughts and behaviour more accurate and faster, I can see their deeper ugly selves even when they are being the nicest people on the world. Beautiful people start turning ugly and ugly people get even uglier. Only few people are spared from my judgement because I don't see anything bad in their personality from how they look.
So yeah, the world is getting uglier for me and the worst thing is: I don't really care and I actually deal with it. I could even say that I`m starting to turn unscrupulous, bet I doubt that anyone would understand me on that.

People like me most definitely are not allowed to live a social life, as we don't get blinded by the society, we see it's true, disgusting face.
Or maybe I`m just being pessimistic again.